I have to apologise in advance for this. I'm not really sure what's wrong with me tonight. Normally, I'd rather stick the end of a frayed 110V electrical cord in my mouth than recite bad poetry but, well ... I found my Magnetic Poetry Kit the other day while cleaning up and I gotta say, I do love that thing. It gives the common man the ability to be more pretentious than any sodden opium fiend bastard who ever lived. A friend of mine (who I haven't heard from in too long a time so if you read this, get in touch with me; you know who you are) used to get drunk with me and we'd read the horrible poetry I, or others, had created with that little kit on my 'fridge door to the rest of our drunk friends, making sure we sounded like serious poets.
Wow, most of it was just awful.
But occasionally something pops out that I kind of actually like. Most of what gets created by the kinds of people I tend to hang out with is pretty rude, like:
I sit on his boy love pole spraying hot juice & like it
Isn't it great how pretentious you can be and still disgust people? (Hey, I used the Magnetic Poetry Kit to make that. I think I'm gonna call the NEA and ask for a grant.)
Sometimes they're just absurd:
I need sleep & a fast woman in a purple dress with a gorgeous behind you lazy drunk sausage leg
I like absurd:
I finger an enourmous bare butt for a thousand diamond petals of crushed pink produce
Goths can use it too:
pound lather shake rip hit scream whisper watch drool
(Wow, most of it is still pretty awful.)
But, like I said, occasionally I get inspired and come up with something I really like, combining absurd with just enough pretentiousness and Gothic angst to make me feel not quite like puking or shooting myself in the head when I'm done playing.
So, my sad reader, I present to you:
delirious friend
can our shadow
drive from the sun
through a forest
on the run
ask it to cook
must it eat these
not go to bed
and never say please
fall like cool wind
take an easy beat
moan blue music
have smelly feet
will it read the play
fiddle and sing
trip after time
do smooth ironing
will it ship white roses
want to ask why
shine a mean rock
rust over & cry
think puppyness life
and elaborately show
live in watery sea
sadly
acheingly
no
Yeeeee....
Lest you think I've permanently gone off the deep end, have one more for the road:
my me was me the we is how he is her TV is ugly or I am