That Lovable Bastard

Who am I? I'm a guy who does consulting for a living, mostly in Internet and other networking technologies, but I'm also an Oracle DBA and do some graphic desgin as well. (If only I could get paid to write this kind of wonderful vitriolic stuff, like Dave Barry or something.) I currently reside in Tampa, Florida. Tampa sucks. A lot. A whole lot. I want out really badly, but, as a friend of mine relayed to me, "Florida, and Tampa in particular, has a very high escape velocity." For those of you who don't get it, it means, it's really hard to get away from Tampa. A couple of the few advantages are that the cost of living here is pretty low and you can hit the beaches pretty much year-round.

Mostly I work, and I play on the computer a whole lot. When I'm home I like to play with Lightwave, Painter, Poser, Photoshop ... do a lot of graphics stuff. When I'm at work, I do Web/Database integration, HTML, and I run around, scream and shout a lot. At one point, my title used to be, Multimedia Systems Specialst, was very (funny story there) briefly changed to Web Technologist, and now is currently simply Consultant. Personally, I think it should be Consultant, Pessimist and Malcontent.

Essentially, I'm a geek. Unfortunately, I don't work for Netscape, and I'm not Bill Gates, so that really doesn't have the same weight that it does for certain other geeks who have much larger piles of money than I do.

If you want to EMail me, dglidden@illusionary.com is my EMail address. If you want to know what I'm good at doing, EMail me or look at my resume. I'm currently well-employed, but, like always keeping a well-stocked backpack handy, I believe it's a good idea to also keep a resume up-to-date. (Except that I haven't, since Techmatics hasn't been around for almost a year now. Fortunately the only addition can be summed up as "1997-Present: Consulting for various large clients who, due to contractual obligations, must remain nameless, along with the work performed.") Besides, it impresses the chicks.

Things I like (In no particular order):

• Sci-Fi (Larry Niven is my favorite, Harlan Ellison is pretty awesome, I'd like to poke Piers Anthony in the eye with a pointy stick)
• My plants (Many flavors of herbs and some other more exotic, like carnivorous plants)
• Good Movies
• Parmesan Cheese (Grated or wedges, on food or by itself. Mmmmmmm....)
• My boa contrictor, Faust
• Breaking a computer so I can fix it
• The Cure, NIN, Marilyn Manson, The Cranberries, Enya (I have eclectic music tastes)
• Italian food
• Sleep
• Long walks on the beach
• Down-to-earth people
• Bubble baths
• (Wait, those last three are Miss September's turn-ons... sorry.)
• Spending entirely too much of my income on videos, CDs, new plants and computer stuff
• Sitting outside during eally nasty Florida thunderstorms
• (Yeah, that one really is mine. It's one of the only other cool thing about Florida.)
• Harleys
• Dilbert

For those of you who desire more information than that, i.e. "what's he look like? Is he cute? Are there any naked pictures of him floating around someplace?" here are a few actual snapshots of me, taken by various cameras of the types used to take the kinds of pictures used for official ID's and whatnot. (And to answer those questions, "Look below, no, you'd better hope not.")

Either David Koresh or Charles Manson, depending on who you ask	A very young Howard Stern, as far as I can tell
Some unidentifiable (And probably dead by now) rock star	Here I am at my last job

"...and the remnant were slain with the sword of him that sat upon the horse, which sword proceedeth out of his mouth: and all the fowls were filled with their flesh, and I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God, I saw the blood of Christ on their skins."